Stay At Home Moms Are Confusing

So I may get crap for this and frankly I don’t care at all. Facebook and moms that stay at home, when you put down your job description in that one section of Facebook asking you what you do for work, stop putting I do work, I am a stay at home mom as the description for your job. Ok are your kids paying you to stay at home? I don’t think so. I know it is a lot of work taking care your kids, making sure they don’t kill each other, making sure Frozen is on the TV to keep them occupied as you spy on your boyfriend’s ex girlfriend on Facebook (I know you do it). Let’s be honest, you are technically not working, you are just making sure your kids don’t die. If you are unemployed just leave that section blank, it is almost as bad as the people that have in the job description section on Facebook hustler or none of ya business (people purposely spell your ya), just stop it, if you don’t work, stop making things up, leave that shit blank, seriously. Another thing, you can’t put you are a stay at home mom if you are employed, just say you work part time, that is it or don’t put anything at all, you are just making things more complicated. Ladies for your relationship status, what the hell is it’s complicated? You and your significant other were agreeing on what to watch on Netflix one day and the next day someone forgot to take out the trash? Come on, it’s not complicated, you are just bored with your relationship status saying single for 5 years straight. If you have to put it’s complicated as a relationship status, than you are either in a shitty relationship, your significant other is cheating on you and you are in denial about it, or you are a slut (pretty sure it’s the last one).

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You Have Been Catfished

So from what I understand the show Catfish has been on for like what two or three seasons not to mention there was a movie so how the hell are people still getting catfished? I mean haven’t these people seen the show/movie? Don’t they know that if someone has like 5 pictures and 10 Facebook friends, they are using a fake account? How do people get suckered in like this? Not to mention a lot of these people doing the catfishing conveniently don’t have a webcam or a working phone (it’s 2014, everything has a camera on it) or they do have a phone but you can never get a hold of them or you have spoken to them on the phone like twice (even though it was two different people speaking to you), or they don’t have a phone, come on now. Right there I just said like ten red flags, let’s not fall in love too easily folks, if you have been talking to someone for more than a year online and they hesitate to meet you, just move on, seriously move on, go to the bar, get drunk, and have sex with the first guy that says hi to you (I know terrible advice) but still. As long as there are suckers, I will continue to watch the show and be amazed at the stupidity there is in this world.

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Just Thinking

Sometimes in life you have to take matters into your own hands. I have been giving some challenges in life and I have to either take matters into my own hands or let the enemy win, I never lose, even if I lose at least I fought for what I believe in. I feel that sometimes you have to be the hero in your own life saga. I would rather fight till I can’t fight anymore, that sounds like a great plan.

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Those Gosh Darn Movie Packs

This may be weird but I love going to Target or Best Buy just to walk to the movie section, I love to find good deals on movies, I am just that thrifty. So thinking I am about to get a good deal is well not happening especially with these two-eight movie packs. You guys know exactly what I am talking about; usually with the two-eight pack movies you usually get one great movie or two great movies and the rest suck. For example I went to Best Buy the other day and they had American History X (great movie) with History of Violence (terrible) in a movie two-pack. History of Violence was terrible, don’t pretend you liked it, how you are going to put it with one of my favorite movies American History X? I don’t think so. It’s pretty rare you find a movie pack worth buying, I found Friday/Menace to Society/Set it Off in a three pack blu-ray disc set; that my friends is a good deal, such great movies (rare). What about the movie packs that come with movies you have never heard of? I hate it, maybe I am being picky but sometimes I just want to find more than just one two-eight pack movies worth buying.

 

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I Did It

I finally am able to run a whole hour straight, a feeling of accomplishment has taken over for the best and I feel fantastic. Now I am ready to tackle the pavement since running on a treadmill is different than running on pavement. Once I get that out of the way, I am going to do a 5K, I think this is going to be good.

 

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Dear Mommy Dearest

Dear Mommy Dearest,

Why can’t you just take criticism like everyone else? Why can’t you take blame for your responsibilities? How come you never made the effort to be my mom? How come you never tried to move out on your own years ago to become the better mom I know you can be? How come we didn’t have electricity and food in the fridge? How come you don’t want to make more money and have a better job to financially support my sister? How come you hoard items and food? How come you stole money from me years ago and not once tried to pay me back? How come when someone (me) disagrees with you, you threaten me? How come you can’t visit me even though I live 1 minute away? How come you never say you love me? How come you haven’t gone back to college to have a better life for my sister? How come you settle for less? How come you never hug me? How come the only time I hear from you is when you need something? How come you can’t just work on yourself? How come you don’t love me? How come you never once watched my band or chorus concerts? How come you never played board games with me or read to me? How come you always went to the club every weekend? How come you don’t care? How come you never have money? How come?

Sincerely,

Your Broken Daughter

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Grocery Store Etiquette

Is it me or do people have zero grocery store etiquette? I think so! Now if you are not sure of the grocery store etiquette rules, here are a few tips on what the grocery store etiquette rules are:

 1. DON’T DRIVE YOUR CART LIKE IT IS DAYTONA 500!

 

 I get it, you are in a rush to get to the yogurt section to stand there for 10 minutes just so no one else can get to that particular yogurt they wanted, if you run me over or run into me, it’ll be like the movie 3000 up in here.

 

 2. LOWER YOUR VOLUME!

Listen no one wants to hear you on the phone talking loudly about what you did last night, who you did last night, where you did it last night, why no one thinks your hot enough for Instagram, nothing. I don’t care, let me grocery shop in peace, damn!

 3. DON’T TAKE UP THE WHOLE AISLE I NEED TO GO DOWN WITH YOUR CART!

I know you need the whole tampon aisle to yourself so you like to leave your cart sideways just so no one gets those super jumbo tampons with the super absorbency that you desperately need, be a good sport and let me get my panty liners.

 4. JUST LET ME SNEAK BY YOU SO THAT I CAN GRAB MY SOY MILK OR JUST STAND THERE DUMBFOUNDED AND NOT MOVE!

You know I am standing behind you like a killer in a horror movie, if you don’t know what you want and you are completely dumbfounded by the difference between soy/almond/rice/skim/2%/1%/fat free/chocolate milk, you have no business being at the grocery store by yourself; this isn’t rocket science, I know you buy the same damn milk every week, here let me help you out and pick one and put it in your cart, just get out of my way.

 5. DON’T BE A DOUCHE IN THE DELI DEPARTMENT, JUST TAKE A NUMBER AND WAIT!

 I am petty sure the way it works is that if there is a line of people in deli, you take a number and either wait at the deli counter until your order is ready, continue your grocery shopping until you hear your number being called over the PA to grab your many fine cheeses, or you wait in line until it is your turn to put in your order. Don’t be a douche and cut the line because you are pretending you are a cheese spy and it is so urgent for you get cheese or your pretending you didn’t see me, I know you saw me standing here with my laser gaze coming right at you.

 

 6. DON’T WALK SLOW IN FRONT OF ME, PERIOD!

 I know you see me behind you with the fury in my eyes trying to get my veggies and fruits, if you are lost and you left your map at home, please just pull over so I can get past your slow tortoise ass. You have been to this grocery store how many times now? 80 million times? If you don’t know where the Kraft Mac and Cheese is by now, you may need to get yourself a grocery guide to guide you in the right direction.

 7. CONTROL YOUR CHILDREN!

 Listen this isn’t a day care center or a Six Flags Amusement Park, if your kids are literally running into other peoples carts and screaming, it is time for you to take your Bebe’s kids outside for some reprimanding. No one wants to hear it, have some respect of others.

 8. BE PATIENT, IT IS SELF CHECK OUT!

  I know you are in a hurry to buy your 24 pack of latex condoms but if you see that I am trying to bag my groceries in a certain way that is beyond your understanding, don’t scan your item and let it hit my bananas and pretend you didn’t see them there, I have no problem throwing your shit back up the conveyor belt as I put that barrier up because you are that much of a douche.

 

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Who Are You Going To Call?

So tomorrow in I don’t know how many years Ghostbusters will be in theaters and I of course have to work. Ghostbusters is by far my all time favorite 80s movie ever dammit! I remember the first time I got it on DVD, it was Ghostbusters 1 and 2 and my bestest friend in the entire world bought it for me for my birthday along with a 100 pack container of Slim Jims, at that time I didn’t care what I ate or the difference between real and fake beef jerky. 

That was the best birthday ever, after getting Ghostbusters 1 and 2, I couldn’t stop watching both of them, and it was and still is the greatest, who doesn’t love a good Bill Murray movie?

I am kind of hoping it’ll be in theaters all weekend so that I can go see it in the morning and than go straight to work, that would make my whole day. The first time I watched Ghostbusters was at a friend’s house when I was a kid and it looked pretty awesome. My friend had the Ghostbusters Proton Pack and we would pretend to catch ghost, we weren’t very successful. 

Some day I will become a Ghostbuster and catch ghost for a living, maybe if I don’t have a heart attack first; that would be just awful. 

If anyone is seeing it in theaters tomorrow, I am quite jealous of you and wish you weren’t but I really secretly wish you would, how could you not?

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Ok Thanks Pretty Little Liars Season 5 For Leaving Us With More Questions.

So season 5 of Pretty Little Liars did a mid season finale which I know some people haven’t seen so I won’t tell you who was murdered, I wish they didn’t call it a finale because I was so confused, I kept thinking that this season only had like 11 episodes, it’s not like them to have so little episodes for this show. I will say this though, I believe since this show has a tendency of bringing people or rather a person back to life (Allison) I do believe the person murdered will some how come back to life because it would be great! 

I love this show and this particular season is good but of course the mid season finale left everyone with you guessed it, more effing questions, just like every other damn season, you are left scratching your head and shaking your fists in mid air like, “what the heck”? 

I mean I get it but seriously, lets get some answers like who the heck is A? Just when you think you know, you don’t and you are just left more confused than ever. My theory from the beginning is that A is Allison which with season 5 it really is looking that way but than it could be Mona or Toby or Jenna, you just don’t know. Even one of the many absent parents like Spencer’s dad could be A, we are just wondering who it is. I am sure the last ever episode will reveal everything, all our questions will be answered. Also what is up with this Bethany chick? Is she some how related to Allison, I guess we have to wait, sigh. 

I personally want the show to never end but that obviously isn’t going to happen, my favorite shows end but The Simpsons is still on the air? Yeah how does that even happen? Is it still funny? Me thinks not but that’s just my opinion, don’t kill me.

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Because Who Doesn’t Love to Cook And Bake?

Today seems to be dragging, all I want to do is sleep and bake and than sleep some more, not in that order. I love cooking and baking; when I am happy I cook/bake; when I’m sad I cook/bake; when I’m bored I cook/bake. Cooking and baking is therapy to me, I think I am in the wrong business, I should go to culinary school or just work in a real crappy kitchen and just work my way up. I honestly believe culinary school can take you so far, I honestly think you can learn to cook just as good at home.

 

I learned to cook from my ex boyfriend who didn’t cook much of a variety of foods, it was basically whatever was on sale and whatever was the easiest. Come on anyone can cook mac and cheese. I didn’t learn how to cook from my mom, she can’t cook, I feel sorry for my sister; the only thing my mom may be able to cook is boxed mac and cheese (if that’s even cooking), she can boil a hot dog (yuck), and make an omelet. My grandma knows how to cook, you would think all those years living with her she would’ve made an effort to learn a thing or two but my mom isn’t much of a doer.

 

I believe cooking is super easy if you just follow the directions, I actually don’t really measure teaspoons of anything, I guess, maybe that’s why my food taste like a million dollars (bragging just a little). There are some things I need to work on but with practice makes perfect, I can admit that.

 

I really learned how to cook when I discovered Pinterest, it is like my go to bible for everything I want to know and learn how to do on my own without going to Google or asking my boyfriend. I feel like a super hero when it comes to Pinterest, so many pins and boards, so little time.

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