So I watched Insidious: Chapter 2 yesterday, it was so bad; I mean it was really bad. I seriously thought the first one was bad but boy was I wrong. I guess it was a horror movie? I couldn’t tell, every scene just either made me laugh or made me confused and then not confused?
I just want to watch a horror movie from the 21st century that makes me crap my pants while losing my breathe, the only horror movie from last year that did all of this was Mama; this movie was good in my opinion; Mama looked like one of my ex roommates so you can imagine how scared I must’ve been when they revealed Mama’s face; I just kept asking, “is that my ex roommate?” and “ Wow she really made it big in this cruel world”.
For the first hour of Insidious: Chapter 2 I was just confused. So from what I recall from the first Insidious, the Lambert family tried to prevent entities from trapping their child in this damn place called The Further (dumb name folks, really dumb). Who names a place that anyway? The writers must’ve thought it was the best name ever. I hated this catastrophe of a movie; I seriously didn’t realize this was a horror movie because the scare factor was non-existent. Every movie now has the same formula; this possibly is a scary movie for children but who lets their child watch this anyway? My future kids will probably watch Sesame Street until they’re 25 because I say so; I want to shelter them as much as I possibly can.
Insidious: Chapter 2 was worse, it starts off with mother Lambert sitting with a detective? A cop? I didn’t care enough to ask, I think he was a clown of some sorts, a well dressed clown, you could tell she was visibly upset; I mean I would be too if I made a second Insidious. Than it cuts to her remembering the family in a hideously furnished living room with this old lady sitting up, mouth wide open, dead? Yeah she was very dead, how dare she be dead 10 minutes into the movie. I remember the old lady from the first movie barely but for some reason I remember her mouth always opened, I wanted to throw some peanuts in her mouth; see how many she could fit into her mouth before she throws up. After the dead old lady everything was a blur, I am pretty sure I was just dreaming and this movie never really happened.
I don’t want to give too much away just in case you haven’t seen it and have a desire to watch it on Netflix or rent it at Redbox but seriously if you need to fall asleep and love terrible horror movies, please see this, you will be disappointed.
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